The almost car accident that saved my life...
Yesterday, someone I look up to, gave me, in words, the confirmation I needed to go ahead and conquer my dreams.
This someone is big (huge, actually!) in the coaching industry and a mentor to so many. Receiving such words today, made me reflect on how far I have come, not only this year but since I was diagnosed with mental health.
I started my journey with mental health over a decade ago. I spent years and years living in desperation, without a purpose and surviving instead of living.
I planned suicide many many times in my head. But my kids were the reason I never took that action because they needed their mummy.
Typing this now is giving me a knot in my stomach because... well... I lived really dark days up until a few years ago. I would struggle to get out of bed. I wouldn't open the door to the postman. I would spend days and days crying without knowing why until, one day, I drained all the tears and couldn't cry anymore. My father in law passed away and, as saddened and heartbroken as I was, I could not cry.
I was a zombie, living on medication until, one morning, I almost had an accident whilst driving from the school run, with my baby in the rear seat. I was tired, sleepy due to the pills.
I wouldn't react to anything at this point. You could slap me in the face and I would give you the other side for you to slap me again.
That almost accident saved my life! I dropped medication there and then and decided to ask for help.
It hasn't been an easy journey. There are days that I still struggle, no doubt about it! I don't even pretend is all easy and pink when, in reality, once you go so deep in the dark as I did, you are prone to fall back if you are not careful.
BUT, there is a way out! There is always a way out...
I never thought back then that all the pain I would have to endure will lead me here today: getting ready to coach others how to not get to the desperate point that I did.
I can live now in a mindful way, and be the woman that I once dream to become- but deep down, I never thought I could be. I no longer hide under the sheets. I no longer leave the postman waiting ( and miss all the happy mail? no way!!). I no longer live small, waiting for the things to come to me- I go to after them, I fight, I persist until it can be done!
If you are in a place that you feel there is no hope or you can't see the light at the end of the tunnel. If you feel overwhelmed or sad without knowing the reason why, and that is leading you to feel in desperation and lost, please, don't lose faith. Please keep fighting and ask for help because there is a way out and a bigger, brighter life waiting for you! I am living proof of that.
It might not be a perfect life, but, to me, it is perfect- because I can laugh with happiness and wake up every morning with excitement for the day ahead.
Today I get to help other women who struggle with negative emotions, not only through my art but also through the coaching I provide. If I can inspire and help others, all this pain its worth it.
If you would like to join my free Facebook Group for inspiration and guidance, please do reach out. You are not alone.
Lots of love,