You write your own story
Many don't know about this.
I was bullied in school before bullying was a thing!
I was in Primary school when the trend started. I call it a trend because, with all honesty, no matter how many different schools I attended ( and I changed schools a few times), with new and different peers, I was ALWAYS picked up on!
At seven years old I would have my "friends"
😳 Making fun of me because of the car my mum used to drive
😔 Make everything to make me cry and then laughed about it because I was a crying baby
⚠️ Having their older brothers threatened me
By the time I moved to Secondary School, my self-esteem was so low, anyone could sense how fragile I was.
From 11 to 15 years old
🥊 I was beaten various times in the school playground by older male students ( having my friends and school staff witnessing and ignoring, so they couldn't be involved)
👗 I was laughed at because of the unbranded clothes I wore to school
👩 I was laughed at because my skin tone was too pale, because I wore braces, because I had acne...
You can see where I am going with this.
It's no surprise I had anxiety. I just didn't know.
And I couldn't rely on anyone because,
🚫 Telling my friends was pointless- they were too scared to stand up for me and to be beaten too
🚫 Telling the headteacher was pointless- she knew and never did anything about it. In fact, I tried to ask for help on two occasions and I was told to tough it up!
🚫 Telling my parents would make it worse- they would come to school, bring awareness to the issue and the other kids would know and I would be bullied even harder!
I wanted to be protected so hard, I wanted to feel safe, accepted for who I am so bad, but as the years gone past, everything just got worse.
So I kept it all to myself. And I tried to tough it up.
I couldn't face the violence, they were all much stronger than I was ( both physically and mentally). I tried to please my friends and tried to fit in, but that just made me more vulnerable.
So, I did the only thing I could do and had control of- study hard. So hard that I would stand out because of my achievements and high grades and I would be respected for that! 📔📖
And I did!! I was an A student, I won prizes in school for Art, Literacy, and History. I became the student that the other classmates come to for help with homework or exam revisions. I became a popular choice to partner up with in group work because everyone knew how good I was.
But that didn't make me a peoples pleaser. I was happy to help, but I never allowed others to copy from my exams. And they knew I had integrity and I stand up for myself.
I stopped being made fun of, teased, beaten up, to be respected, needed, and free to be who I was meant to be.
This hard experience taught me a lesson that I still carry with myself today:
Focus your energy ⚡ on what you can control! We can change our life circumstances when we are willing to turn into our strengths.
I could have conformed myself with my life at the time and keep trying to swim against the tide - which would only hurt and weaken me more. Instead, I focused my energy on the thing I could control, without confronting anyone or force anyone to change their opinions about me.
I showed them instead of telling them. 🔎
And today, as a grown women, I carry with me that lesson. I don't confront anyone, I don't conform to the things that I don't like or don't suit my highest good. I don't force others to like, or accept me or the way I lead my life.
I simply show others how I want to be treated by showing my boundaries, my value, my nature.
And needless to say that I don't stand up for ANY kind of bullying! 😤